Medical

Man my body has been so jacked up the last week or so. Despite being able to exercise, and, feel REALLY good while doing it, I have had some health issues that have been impacting everyday life.

First off, it's been about...oh...seven or so years since I've been on some medication to deal with the depression/anxiety that I'd been dealing with for a little bit. While I tended to lean more on the "anxiety" side of the line, it's hard to have one without the other. Anyway, I'd gone through a period of time in my life (a while ago) that was really hard to handle with panic attacks and other symptoms that kinda came to the surface after certain life events had occurred. *Note...this is sooo long before Amy & where I am now, that it's pretty much unrelated to anything with her. In fact, it's been the last 3-4 years that have had me wanting to taper off the medication I'd been taking for a little bit.* Anyway, I'd struggled with relationships and whatnot for a long time, and, had a few pretty emotionally abusive ones which really messed me up. However, through working with an amazing therapist I was able to gain the strength & tools to be able to deal. I'm not embarrassed by any stretch to admit that I'd been in therapy for a while. In fact, oftentimes I feel it gives me more of a qualification to be a good judge of character of other people. I highly recommend talk therapy if you feel you need it. It's such a wonderful resorce. I am such a fan. The key is a good therapist though...make sure you get one you clickwith. Anyway, I've only befriended those which I feel are of good positive energy in my life, and, those that aren't have been through my filtering process and thankfully spit out the other end (good riddance too!). While therapy was really good, I'd hit a rough patch that I couldn't get through, no matter HOW hard I'd tried. So, I saw another doctor (through referral and only AFTER long drawn out talks about the risks/rewards/etc of taking medication) who'd prescribed me an anti-depressant/anxiety medication, albeit a VERY low dose (10mg of Lexapro daily). It really helped a LOT, and, I don't doubt it's ability to help other people. However, only until recently have I been so positive about the experience. Now, I hate it. I saw a new doctor recently to help me taper off and be done with the meds 100%. I'd been taking them so long, I forgot what I needed them for, and, realy wondered if they were even working (at $90.00/bottle they better!). So, he developed a taper strategy and I've been off of them completely for about 2 or so weeks. As such, I've been on the Internet looking up and studying withdrawal symptoms because hot damn I am suffering. The biggest thing I notice is the vertigo/dizziness. I really feel like I'm gonna fall over and pass out in some instances. Other than that, I'm pretty good. I've been sleeping like a champ, and, I feel so good. I'll get some headaches and hot flash/surges here and there (coincidentally, I thought my cycling helmet was on too tight!) which have subsided. Most of the posts I've read about mention that these withdrawal symptoms go away a little over two weeks time, and, this time can't come faster! I also have been cutting my knuckles (don't worry...UNINTENTIONALLY) all over the place from doing just normal chores. My hands are wrecked, and my once pretty fingers look like crap. Yes, I said pretty fingers. Anyway, I went to the doctor yesterday because I'd cut my ring finger on my right hand somehow (I think I scraped it on the basement brick wall somehow...that's what I mean...how/why would I scrape my finger on the brick wall of the basement!?). Turns out the wound got infected, and, I was put on anti-biotics. I felt like SUCH shit yesterday & Sunday. I'd had the chills, a fever, nausea, achy joints and just overall "shit-body" as I like to call it. Ugh I was sooo miserable I went to bed at 9pm and slept straight through. Yesterday I was giving a presentation at work and almost passed out during it. There was this long pause (luckily it was strategically placed!), and, people asked me if I was still there. I was about to fall over seriously, and pass out or puke. (whether it was the withdrawl symptoms, the infection, or a combo of the two...I dunno). I said "Oh sorry I'd hit the mute button", when, in fact I was simply trying to stay vertical! The doc's prescription is working great and I feel 10000x better today. It's really amazing what the body does to protect itself. I also cut the tip of my thumb the other day while cutting up an onion, and, of course, because of the cuts location, it has a hard time healing itself because it keeps getting pressed/etc since it's on my thumb. Annoying!

Other than all of this crap, life is wonderful. I'm riding very well, I've been doing well at the office, and, been dealing with financial planning/things really well. I've been super psyched at the progress I've made in certain areas, and, am on track to actually exceed my goals for the year. Plus, there's a little someone that should be here in (gasp!) about 4 months that I want to be ready for. People talk about how you have NO idea what you're in store for when you have a kid, and, how much your life changes.

Frankly, I couldn't be more excited of the prospect!